Just fell off a train. Bad.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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