sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
