I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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