It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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