peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
