i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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