Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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