he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
