My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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