it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
