My hand turned me down
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Randomize
