I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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