I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
