I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
