It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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