Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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