i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
