what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
