Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
