Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
