I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You can't special order awesome
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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