Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
