So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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