Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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