new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
