Screwed.edu
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
