May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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