Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
