Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize