"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My dick has a subreddit
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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