I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
