I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
