god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
His hands were made for my vagina.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
