When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
