I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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