im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
