in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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