So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
