shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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