im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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