remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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