Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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