I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
