I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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