Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
