and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
