I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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