We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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