SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
