i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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