I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
