Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think I sprained my soul last night
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
