It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
