i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
