The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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