i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
