ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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