Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
